ACT I: A HERO IS BORN

By Ryan T.

Note: this is part of a rough draft of  script I am writing.  Keep in mind that I am neither a script writer or even just a writer.  I just barely passed every non-college English classes that I even took while in school, but that is another story all together.  Just pay no attention to the grammatical errors.  Feedback is welcomed.  If you haven’t already, please check out Nicks great post from the day before, it is highly recommended.  Happy Holidays!

ACT I: A HERO IS BORN

Fade in:

EXT. SNOW COVERED HOUSE IN SUBURBS – DUSK

STEVE [V.O.] – I live a pretty normal life, I have a beautiful wife and kids, and a nice job.

INT. KITCHEN TABLE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS SITTING AND EATING

STEVE [GLANCES OUT WINDOW] -Man, that snow sure is coming down, after dinner, I am going to have to shovel some snow.

FADE TO KITCHEN SINK WHERE WIFE IS CLEANING DISHES IN SINK

WIFE- Steve honey, are you going to shovel the snow now?

STEVE- …Oh yeah… [pauses] I will, I just have to do something really quick

PAN ON STEVE AS HE EXITS KITCHEN AND GOES THROUGH DOOR INTO THE BASEMENT

STEVE [V.O.] – Since I was a child, I was in love with Jim Hensen and his Muppets.

STEVE WALKS INTO A ROOM IN THE BASEMENT COMPLETELY COVERED IN PUPPETS COLLECTABLES.  A TV IS ON WITH THE MUPPETS SHOW ON NO VOLUME.

STEVE SITS DOWN AT THE TABLE WITH A MICROPHONE

STEVE [IN MOST PRESENTABLE VOICE]- Welcome to the Muppetcast, I am your host Steve Swanson.  I have to shovel some snow, but first I have a great show for you…

FOCUS FROM STEVE’S FACE TO THE TV WHERE THE MUPPETS ARE IN FAST MOTION, STEVE’S VOICE IS LAYERED MANY TIMES OVER ITSELF TO IMPLY THE PASSING OF TIME

A NOW SWEATY STEVE STILL AT TABLE, OBVIOUS THAT AN HOUR OR SO HAS PAST

STEVE- So, I must say that that new Discover Card commercial that has Henson in it is quite a treat, it brings back…

WIFE [YELLING FROM UPSTAIRS] – STEVE!, SHOVEL THE SNOW, NOW!

STEVE [AT FIRST ALSO YELLING] OK OK, BE UP IN A SECOND!

STEVE[IN PRESENTABLE VOICE] And that concludes this weeks episode of The Muppetcast, remember to check out the website at http://www.muppetcast.com.  Thanks for listening!

STEVE THEN STANDS UP FROM TABLE AND PROCEEDS TO CORNER OF TOOM WHERE COMPUTER SITS

STEVE [TO HIMSELF]- I will just check my email quickly before that women gets on me again.

STEVE SITS AT COMPUTER

STEVE – Ah, Corey emailed me back… [READING FROM COMPUTER SCREEN] “Dear steve, thanks for the words of encouragement, and I am glad you like our new website design.  We just put up the newest cast, we mention you and we read your email.  Check it out.   love, Corey”.

STEVE [To Himself] – What a wonderful kid, I will check it out really quick.

STEVE CLICKS ON ITUNES, CLICKS ON TOTAL DOMINATION PODCAST EPISODE TEN.

COMPUTER [CHEESY EIGHTIES TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS WHILE A VOICE SINGS THE WORDS ASS CLAP REPEATEDLY]

STEVE- I dont have time for this.

CLOSE UP ON COMPUTER SCREEN.  STEVE FAST FORWARDS THE PODCAST

VOICE FROM COMPUTER – Speaking of gaping assholes, Steve Swanson emailed us recently….

STEVE [LOOKING FURIOUS] NOOOO! THOSE GOD DAMN FOOLS

Steve exits the room [LAUGHTER IS HEARD FROM COMPUTER]

STILL IN BASEMENT, STEVE GOES UP TO A DOOR THAT HAS MULTIPLE LOCKS ON IT

CLOSE UP ON STEVES MIDSECTION, WHERE HE REACHES IN HIS BLUE JEANS AND PULLS OUT A SET OF KEYS. HE FIDDLES AROUND WITH THEM, THEN FINDS THE ONE STRANGE LOOKING KEY THAT HAS A SKELETON HEAD ON THE END OF IT.  HE INSERTS IT INTO EACH LOCK AND EVENTUALLY UNLOCKS THE DOOR.

THE DOOR CREEPS OPEN, LIGHT BLINDS STEVE AT FIRST.  STEVE SHIELDS HIS EYES AND STEPS FORWARD.  LIGHT IS TOO BRIGHT FOR CAMERA, SO VIEWER CANNOT SEE WHAT IS INSIDE OF ROOM.

STEVE- Ah yes, this will do.

STEVE THEN DEPARTS FROM GLOWING ROOM SLOWLY, STOPPING RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THE DOORWAY. STEVE IS NOW WEARING A MASK AND HAS A MUPPET ON BOTH HANDS. HIS GREEN SHIRT HAS TWO UPPERCASE ‘M’S ON IT. [script writers notes: Steve’s new look needs more work, will most-likely change description during production]

STEVE THEN STARTS TO WALK UPSTAIRS, HE WAS ANGRILY, SO EACH STEP UP THE STAIRS IS MUCH LOUDER THEN BEFORE.

WIFE [HEARD FROM UPSTAIRS IN KITCHEN] -Finally you are coming, what were you doing?  You have been down stairs for several hours!

STEVE THEN GETS TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS IN PLAIN SITE OF HIS WIFE.

WIFE- Oh my god…Steve, what are you doing?

STEVE- Shut up women. I am not Steve, I am the Muppet Man.  I am going to Illinois, be back soon in a day or so.

STEVE’S CHILDREN ARE STANDING INBETWEEN THE KITCHEN AND THE LIVING ROOM CRYING.

WIFE [NOW ALSO CRYING] Kids go to your rooms, NOW!

STEVE THEN SLAPS HIS WIFE, SHE THEN FALLS TO THE GROUND.  FROM THE GROUND WE WATCH THE MUPPET MAN EXIT OUT OF THE BACK DOOR.

FADE TO BLACK

…To Be Continued.

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One Response to “ACT I: A HERO IS BORN”

  1. The Attitude Adjuster Says:

    btw, that commercial is for american express i believe

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